By Guest Blogger Danya M. Jordan
Dear Wife and Mom,
As we wind down from holiday festivities, I wanted to take a few moments, from a single woman’s perspective, to encourage you today. It seems our hearts are naturally wired for discontentment.
Ye who arises early; packs lunches; matches children’s outfits; struggles with work/life balance; finds lost socks for ye husbands; squeezes out time to exercise; picks up poop after the family dog; arrives just moments to spare in carpool line before and after school; attempts to be creative and healthy making family meals when ordering a pizza would be, oh, so much easier; ye who tries to train your children in the way they should go…this bud’s/this blog’s for you.
Please listen, ye who sometimes feels, after a whole day of children’s little hands pawing at ye, then tucking them in bed, that ye don’t feel like hungry, manly husband hands pawing on ye; ye who truly is a hopeful romantic but struggles with lack of sleep; ye who may look at your single friends and say: “Oh, to have a quiet night. Oh, to have a day or two with no one pulling at me. Oh, to be able to go where I want, when I want.”
Take it from me, a 42-year-old, never-married single lady, it ain’t all that. I admire you beyond words, you amazing Renaissance woman. Yes, I enjoy my me-time. Yes, I enjoy dancing around my house anytime in whatever attire I desire. Yes, I know I am being used purposefully and intentionally in my singleness. Comparison, though, is the thief of joy.
Please walk right now to the mirror. Look in it for a long time and smile. Be pleased with who gazes back at you. You, precious wife and mom, are a rock star! You have been blessed with a great life. Please love on your husband.
Sure, he’s not perfect, and he gets on your nerves sometimes. Sure, he misses the toilet. Sure, he doesn’t bring you flowers like he used to. Sure, his clothes don’t quite make it into the laundry basket over and over and over.
He loves you so much. He may just have a hard time showing his affection in the way you want him to. He truly adores you. He doesn’t feel like he pleases you many times. He wants to succeed in all aspects of his life. He dives into work because, frankly, sometimes it’s easier to succeed there. He truly, deep down, with every fiber of his being, wants to exceed your expectations and to have a dynamite marriage and be the best dad in the world.
He yearns for your unconditional respect, even more than your love. He wants to love you the way you desire to be loved. He truly does.
And your little/big children…Wow. You and your husband made this world a better place when they were born. You do great work together! Don’t blink. They are growing up fast. Please put down your smartphones and IPads and focus on your children. Enjoy more faces and more books and less Facebook. Savor every moment. You are one as a family, the cornerstone of civilization. What can you do to make a difference in this world together as a family? This world–your state, your city, your neighborhood, your church are waiting for your family’s love, gifts and talents.
Take it from me. I am content in my circumstances. I come home each night, though, to a quiet home, and I confess to you that the silence is deafening sometimes. Having a cozy home filled with a husband and children abuzz with activity is a gift. My heart’s desire is to be right in your shoes. I know God’s timing is perfect.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe once said, “Nothing is worth more than this day.” Slow down. Look around and appreciate your family. Be encouraged. Be thankful. Ye are a beautiful wife and Mom. God rest ye merry, wives and Moms. Ye deserve it.
Your Single Admirer, Friend, and Sister
Danya M. Jordan
Danya has 21 years of professional writing and speaking experience with non-profit organizations, 17 years of Bible studies and church leadership, and practically a lifetime of hilarious and provoking storytelling. She received her Bachelor’s Degree in Communications from Appalachian State University and Master’s Degree in Public Administration from the College of Charleston. Visit her website and subscribe for free “Pure Inspiration” at http://www.danyajordan.com/. Her “day job” is as Proverbs 31 Ministries Executive Director of Donor Development–a “blessings broker” in Matthews, NC.Danya’s personal mission statement is “Shine,” based on Matthew 5:16. She loves laughing with family and friends, breathing in the majestic mountain air in western North Carolina, kayaking, reading, gardening, and making trumpet sounds with her mouth without a trumpet.