By Guest Blogger Anonymous
For a long time I did everything for everyone and not a thing for myself. I was in a miserable marriage and I was so over being a stay at home mom. But there I was, not changing a thing to make myself happy because I was so afraid to rock the boat. Then, one day, I didn’t just rock the boat, I flipped that mother over.
I had finally had enough. I refused to be scared of change anymore. I hated my life, and whether it is to be a short life or a long one, I definitely wanted it to be a happy one. I picked a place I had always wanted to live, I told my “husband” I was leaving his ass, I packed up my kids, I got a job and I moved on. Nervous? No, I was terrified. I was leaving everything that I had known for years behind and embarking on a totally new journey. While the larger part of me was overly excited and happy, a small part of me was absolutely terrified.
Let’s pause, I know everyone doesn’t need to make this sort of life change. I know many of you are happy wives and stay at home moms and I applaud that, whole heartedly. This was one of the hardest choices I had ever made, but I do not doubt for a second that it was the right choice for me and my kids. Just as I support you, I hope as you read this, you support me. I definitely did not make these changes without much thought.
That being said, all of my fears ended up being completely ridiculous. As it turned out, I could, in fact, make it on my own after being out of the job market for six years. I could provide financially for my kids. I could still be a loving mom and have a job outside of the home, which if I am being honest, was my biggest fear. I was so worried that I would no longer be the mom that my girls deserved. I thought they would resent me for not being able to pop over to school for lunch with them once a week, or be able to attend every field trip. The complete opposite happened. They were proud of me! I am not sure that there is anything that has ever made me happier. They think it is pretty cool that mom hits the office while they’re in school and that feels really good.
I’m proud to say that I’m more than happy now. I love my life and I wouldn’t change a thing. My kids get to see their mom be strong and happy and independent. There is nothing more rewarding that that. While our lives are not what is usually deemed as the “norm,” our lives are ours and we are living them to the fullest with huge smiles on our faces. And just to clarify, their dad is still in their lives as well, and they love spending time with him. While he is not the right person for me to spend my life with, he is a good dad. They are, however, wise enough to realize that a happy mommy is a better mommy. I am no longer hiding in the closet fighting back tears instead of playing with them. I enjoy my time with them so much more now that I have taken the steps that I needed to take to live a happy life.
So, if you’re needing a change, no matter how big or small, make it! Don’t be scared, take that leap! Chances are, you won’t regret it.