Teens and Drugs – Do you think it is a battle worth fighting?
A few weeks ago I had lunch with a friend who told me that she had recently discovered her 15 year old daughter smoking pot. She was upset, of course, and told me how she and her husband debated on how to handle the issue. She told me about the talk they had with her daughter and the things her teen told them about drug use in her school and with her friends.
My friend then said, “You know what, Rachel? Marijuana is everywhere. I have decided that there just isn’t much I can do about it.”
I was a little taken aback. Although this friend was a party-girl herself, it surprised me that she was willing to allow her 15 year old daughter to continue to use an illegal drug without putting up much of a fight. I can’t really remember how I replied, but after I got home and replayed this situation in my head and knew I wanted to blog about it.
Here is the thing – for me to say that my child will not use marijuana when he is a teenager is like me stating while I am pregnant that my kid will not throw a tantrum when they are a toddler. You can’t speak about a situation until you have been there, done that. My children are both in elementary school and although I hope they will make good choices as they enter their teens, I also know that peer pressure is tough. I know that trying new things can be fun. I know that looking cool sometimes is the most important thing in a teen’s life. Believe me, I am no angel myself!
But I also know that I will try my best to take a stand. I may not be able to stop it, but I will make sure my child knows I do not agree with it. Here is my analogy … I cannot help if my kid talks back to me, but I can certainly control how I will react to him being disrespectful and I can control what the consequences will be the next time he talks back to me. I would assume (but again cannot be completely sure) that this would be the same situation if I find my teen using illegal drugs. I can control how I react and I can control what will happen the next time I find him using.
Keep in mind – this blog is NOT talking about handling addictions. Drug addictions are an entirely different ballgame. I am talking about teens who are early drug users, recreational users, or first time users.
So am I naive here? Is marijuana truly everywhere? Is it a given that most of our teens will try it? I asked a friend of mine who is a high school teacher what he thought. He replied that no, he did not think it was everywhere, and no, he would not tolerate his teen using it. But, he could be as naive as I may be.
I guess what I am trying to figure out is if this situation is avoidable for moms of teens and if not, how do we handle it? Is there a reader out there who has already been through this? What advice can you offer? I would love your input on this situation.
And I repeat, I never say never. I may be in this exact situation one day, so I am not ridiculing my girlfriend. I am simply asking if there is a different way she could have handled it. (And yes, I did ask her permission to blog about this, too!)
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