By Katie Moosbrugger

Oh the joys of the holidays! These past few weeks have delivered some hilarious and witty one-liners from the kiddos. It’s been fun compiling these “funnies” for your enjoyment. Here’s what has been said, read and heard over these past few weeks.

This one in an email sent from a friend…
“So, I just threw up, due to some heinous flu bug that is going around the family and it finally hit me.  I came back and told the kids that I was sick and that we would probably take it easy today.  My son Luke (toddler age) said, ‘Why are you throwing up Mommy?  Did you drink too much wine and stuff?’

Keep reading…there are more like these!

This one from my cousin’s Facebook post after a trip to an American Girl store…
“My son Nick, 9, says to the waiter, ‘You wouldn’t believe the whore I had at American Girl.’ What? Waiter, husband, and I look at each other speechless. Brief pause, Nick continues, ‘It was such a horror, I’ve never had such horror!’ (Nick was referring to a full plate of food that almost dropped at the American Girl restaurant. He wanted to share the story with our waiter a few weeks later). Waiter starts cracking up, and I explain to Nick he really needs to always say ‘horror’ as a two syllable word!”

Here are a few from friends’ Facebook status updates…
– “When asked to go find and set up our manger scene, Carter (age 6) yells, ‘I found the Jesus set!'”

– “Hogan (6) sings, ‘On Dasher, on Dancer, on Comic on Blitzen…’ and his twin brother Ryder chimes in, ‘Hey wait, Hogan, you forgot Cumin!'”

– So, Jake (4) gets in the car from preschool and announces he couldn’t play on the playground …No, not because it is 25 degrees outside….’We had to sing to the old people today,’ he said!”

This one is from my three-year-old son when we attended the Nutcracker last week…
The first curtain went up and a second curtain dropped down with a huge Nutcracker illustration. That second curtain stayed down for a few minutes while the orchestra played, and Henry yelled, “Mommy, push play, push play!”

And all around our house we’ve enjoyed my six-year-old daughter’s version of her favorite Christmas carol, “Deck the halls with vows of pollen.”

Aaaah….gotta love ’em. If only this magical time lasted all year ’round!

Have any recent funny one-liners you care to share? If so, email me at and I’ll post them in a “Sunday Funnies” blog. You can remain anonymous if you’d like. Just let me know!