Most funny stories are the ones about embarrassing yourself.  So at my expense, you can enjoy a good laugh today as I recall a most embarrassing moment from High School …

For a full year, I had a crush on “Jeff.”  He was in most of my classes and I spent a good deal of time staring at him and trying my darnedest  to come up with something witty to say to him.  He was way out of my league, but I give myself props for even thinking I would have a shot at him!  At the time, I thought only my good friends knew about this crush, but now I am highly confident that most of the school knew.

I was one of those loony teens who would drive past his house on my way somewhere, even though it was not really on the way to any destination I visited.  Being the stalker that I was, one day I thought it would be fun to call him just to hear his voice.

Keep in mind that there was no caller ID back in then, BUT the whole *69 thing was just coming about.  You know, where you can punch in *69 and it will give you the phone number of the last person who tried to call you.  I had not used the *69 option on my phone, but may have known about it.  But at the time I decided to give “Jeff” a call, I had regrettably forgotten all about it.

So, one day after school, I call from my house phone with the extra long curly cord because I would take it into three other rooms so no one would hear me.  I dial the number.  He answers.  I run back to the phone cradle and quickly hang up.  Oh, what a rush from hearing his voice!  I am smiling.  My phone immediately rings.  I am not smiling anymore.

Shit.  Now what?  Is it him?  No.  Oh my gosh, what about that *69 deal?  It could be him!  What do I do?  Do I answer?  I can’t answer.  But it might not be him.  Shit.

As the phone keeps ringing, I finally decide to just ignore it.  He will never know it was me.  There.  Crisis averted.  Then suddenly, my answering machine comes on.  Idiot!!!!  I am an idiot!  The answering machine!  How could I forget about the answering machine!?!?!  I stand there as my face turns bright red and my mom’s voice comes across the answering machine message loud and clear, “Hi, this is the Biscombes.  We are not in right now, but if you would like to leave a message we will call you back as soon as we can.”


OK, maybe it is not him.  Maybe it is someone else.  Then there is silence and I hear the person on the other end hang up.

It was TOTALLY him.  I am such a nerd.  Such a geek.  How can I ever walk through the halls of that high school again?  I spent the next thirty minutes calling every friend I had to tell them the most horrifying moment of my life, and as good friends always do, they laughed at me.

I hope you laughed, too, and I hope you will resist the urge to classify me as a psychopath who stalked boys while I was in high school.  This was just one of those many lessons that I had to learn the hard way.  Speaking of which, take a look at my blog I wrote a few years ago about Things I Learned the Hard Way.  More fun laughs at my expense.  Enjoy!  🙂

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