By Guest Blogger Lisa Witherspoon
I hesitated to post this blog for fear that it would offend others and I also did not want readers to think this was the opinion of the TMoM team. The TMoM team assured me that one of the things they like best about running this website is being able to share viewpoints of many, even though sometimes it is completely opposite from their own beliefs. I am sure that I will receive some not so nice comments, but again, I do not mean this as an insult to anyone who has an elf and loves the elf. If it works for your family, that is your decision and I completely respect it. I am not judging; I am simply expressing my point of view.
It’s that time of year again – everyone is posting pictures of their Elf’s creative adventures. Not at our house – We do not have an elf. Why have I deprived my children of this super fun tradition you might ask? Let me explain.
1. Mom Life is Busy
In the evenings, after our busy days, it is all I can do to remember to pack lunches, fold the laundry, turn on the dishwasher, and shower myself. This time of year I also have to add to the list watering the Christmas tree, planning school parties, and getting all the shopping done. I DO NOT need anything else to remember every night and I would inevitably forget. Often.
2. Less Holiday Lies
That brings me to the second reason – the lies!! Now don’t get me wrong, I love Santa. I love helping the kids make their lists and shopping for their items. I love seeing their faces light up on Christmas morning. However, as the kids get older, it gets more and more difficult to continue the charade. (In fact, my oldest who is 10, has known the truth for about 2 years now.) I find myself having to work really hard to spin some serious yarn in an effort to keep the myth going. Some of the questions I have gotten in the past couple years:
“Why do they do Toy for Tots, etc. Doesn’t Santa bring toys to the poor kids??”
“Why can’t I get all 271 items on my list?? Santa doesn’t have to pay for them because his elves make everything!
“How come Santa is at this store when my friend said they saw him at that store?”
“Are you sure it’s ok to put glitter in the reindeer food? It might be bad for them.”
Now, if my kids are already asking questions like these and I am wracking my brain to answer them “correctly,” can you imagine what would happen if when I forget to move Mr. Elf or when one of them accidentally touches him??? I simply refuse to set myself up for that kind of drama!
3. No Additional Messes to Clean
The third reason is that I spend my whole life cleaning up messes – washing laundry, washing dishes, sorting through paper, picking up toys and shoes, wiping spills… Why on Earth would I endeavor to create even more messes that I will undoubtedly have to clean up as well?!?!? Oh, the elf baked cookies and made a big mess with the flour? Who is going to clean up that flour??? Last night he took all the toys out of the toy box?? Who do you think is going to put them back in??? Or maybe he had a marshmallow snowball fight with Barbie. Who is going to pick up all those marshmallows??? (Well, probably the dog in that case. But that could lead to an entirely different kind of mess if you know what I mean!) To me, this sounds like nothing short of torture – spend hours on Pinterest researching ideas, work tirelessly and tediously to set up elf mischief every night for at least 25 nights, then clean up all of those messes myself.
4. Kids Need to Behave All Year
For my fourth reason, I am going to have to get on my soapbox just a bit. I know a lot of you out there find the whole thing fun and do it for the sake of tradition and, again, that is fantastic. However, I have also heard many parents rave about how well their children behave during the weeks before Christmas because they know that “Elfie” is watching. Personally, I have a problem with that. I don’t want my children to behave just because they are afraid of getting in trouble if they don’t or just because they are hoping for big rewards in the end. I want my children to behave because they know, intrinsically, that it is the right thing to do. And, I want them to behave this way ALL THE TIME – not only when there is the threat of a psychotic elf looming over their heads. Am I being a tad over analytical?? Perhaps. Ok, probably. But, that is how I feel. The first time I heard about the elf that is how it was presented to me – as a way to make your kids behave – and it just left a sour taste in my mouth that I have never forgotten.
5. Don’t Jump on the Bandwagon
The final reason I don’t participate is that I refuse to simply succumb to the madness and jump on the bandwagon. Obviously, I am not a big fan of the Elf. I can envision it creating much hassle and drama in this household. However, I have honestly considered doing it because I didn’t want my kids to miss out. I didn’t want them to be the only ones who haven’t experienced this fun tradition just because their mom was too lazy to do it. But is it worth the stress and commotion it would surely create?? Are my children going to be permanently scarred if we don’t get an elf??? I have decided the answer to both of those questions is “NO!” Share your thoughts on the Elf on the Shelf below!
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I said I would not get an elf. Then while we were visiting family for Thanksgiving, my mother, who felt I was depriving my child of the joy, brought an elf into my house and set it up. Oh the surprise! I counterattacked by telling my daughter that the elf was truly just another doll that we could play with during Christmas. I made it an activity that she can do on her own. She is now 13 and she still gets up every morning and moves the elf to another fun place. She finds joy in seeing if my husband and I can find it throughout the day. Never know when that creepy thing might be watching you. So we found another way to utilize the elf without all the above reasons you mentioned because I agree with everything you said.
SAME! I don’t have the mental energy to dream up all the shenanigans an elf could get into, then set up props and all that. Sometimes I forget to brush my teeth at night, I’m certain I would forget to move the elf. If it works for your family, great! I’m impressed with people with this kind of creativity, it’s just not for me. <3
What a great post for sharing thoughts. My kids are 7, 8, and 11 years old, and they still believe in Santa though the ?s are beginning to be asked from my 11 year old. My kids were asking for an elf for the past 2-3 years, and my husband finally caved and bought them one and he ‘came to the house’ last year. He hides the elf and creates the scenes because he knows this moma is NOT going to do it because 1) I go to bed earlier than he does and I ain’t got time for it, and 2) I’m not that creative when it comes to thinking up scenes or where to hide the elves. With that said, our elves don’t do too much mess making in our space (because my husband is responsible for cleaning up the mess since he bought in) and more or less find homes in lego creations our kids built, or being positioned in front of the tv with nintendo remotes in their hands, etc. What I’ve noticed since our elf came last year, however, is that my 3 kids get up EARLIER JUST TO TRY AND FIND WHERE THE ELF IS AND/OR WHERE THEY MAY BE HIDING (as my husband introduced a girl elf this year since our 11 year old daughter was asking for one) and we let our 3 kids pick out 1 reindeer pet this year (they all had to come to a consensus on what 1 pet we would adopt as a family) 1 week before our boy elf was going to possibly arrive.
It’s become somewhat of a contest to see which kid can find the elves and now reindeer pet first, and it gets them out of the bed with excitement earlier (even on school days – ha)!
Therefore, while I’d like to bash my husband for buying into this whole charade, I realize I married Mr. Christmas who also records all hallmark movies, etc., I’m thankful for the fun he’s introduced to my kids and I and the simple excitement and curiosity it brings to our home even if just for a few weeks. His excuse for introducing another elf was that this might be the last year our 11 year old daughter ‘believes in Santa and elves’ AND my excuse for allowing my kids to buy 1 reindeer pet this year was because they’ve been wanting 1 since last year and they got super excited about having an elf pet that they could all agree upon and enjoy altogether (since they fight 1/2 the time anyway given their age ranges – my younger 2 kids are boys)!
As a 44 year old mom, we certainly never had elves growing up as kids, and I don’t think we missed out on anything either, but it’s been fun to see my 3 kids get excited each and every day and have something they can look forward to (even if it’s just a game to see who can find the elves 1st when they wake up in the morning) throughout the month of December).
Thank you for verbalizing my thoughts exactly! We still have a young toddler but I’ve already been thinking about what is important to us during the holiday season and the elf isn’t on that list. Love this post!
Thank you Lucy!
Many of your reasons rings true with me too. I am a creative person so this could be up my alley, but I was too tired to even start! The other reason we do not have an elf is I realized early on that my little guy gets HUGE anxiety this time of year with all the pressure to be good, we do not need a creepy elf (and he is super creepy!) adding to his stress.
We never had an elf. The main reason, # 4 all day long! Plus they are very creepy!
This list is exactly why we don’t participate in the Elf. A lot of friends post really cute Elf adventures and it makes me almost makes me want to join, but after weighing the fact that I would be making messes that I would have to clean up EVERY DAY, it is not worth it to me. Plus I find it a little creepy.
Thank you for this. We do not participate in the Elf on a Shelf either. We want our kids to know that the focus is on Christ for Christmas.
Agree, my child is 29 so he had already outgrown it, but I wouldn’t have done it either for many of the same reasons