By Guest Blogger Dr. Juan Santos, CRC, LCMHC

Connection isn’t optional in intimate relationships. It’s a required pillar that allows the relationship to stand with firmness and longevity.

Lacking a connection with your partner can leave you feeling lost, insecure, and even physically in pain.

As you are surrounded by the colors and melodies of Valentine’s Day, I want you to dig deep into your core and strive to develop the pillar of connection in your relationship. Connection at its core is the feeling of alignment with your partner.

You can feel and literally witness that the relationship is on a clear path. Both are leaders driving it forward to a mutually agreed future.

To create and sustain connection, you can focus on the three areas listed below.

1. Availability.

Your relationship must have a space that is open to receiving and giving support. When you feel safe sharing your thoughts and feelings with your partner it strengthens your connection. You feel that you can approach them, and they will honor the space as sacred.

2. Your needs are met.

Tranquility and deep contentment are found in your relationship when you feel that your desires and needs are being met. An example of this can be found in one partner sharing the need of desiring physical touch. The act makes them feel seen, wanted, and deeply loved. Their partner shows up to meet their need.

3. Authentic self.

Have you ever struggled to be your authentic self with someone in life? I bet that this was in no way a comfortable experience. When this takes place, it is extremely difficult to build a connection. Simply due to not being able to share your true and honest self.

Relationships that thrive and hold the pillar of connection do so because each partner actively works on creating a space of vulnerability and empowerment.

As you walk away from this reading and further into Valentine’s Day, I encourage you to hold space for connection. Your relationship with stand stronger and longer with it.

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