How many times have you heard this:
“If my spouse EVER cheated on me, I would be gone in a millisecond.”
Have you ever said those words yourself? Now the big question – have you ever had to take back those words?
This is a heavy topic, but one I wanted to talk about today because more and more we are hearing about infidelity in our circles of friends, and for some of you maybe even in your own household. Sometimes the man is the cheater, sometimes the woman, or sometimes both. If you are the one contemplating an affair, read this first. It is a powerful blog we ran last year that I think will help give some insight.
Back to “the deal-breaker,” let’s think about it. Of course prior to marriage, we all would like to believe that we will find the perfect soul mate, get married, and live happily ever after. If an affair were to occur, we say we would be out the door.
But what happens when you throw children in the mix? And a mortgage? And school loans? And a love for someone that could never be broken even when you have lost all trust in them? And what if it was just a one-time deal? And what if the cheater promises it would never happen again? What if you start counseling and things get better? What about the vows you made for better or for worse? Would you still leave?
Obviously, many people don’t leave after an affair. What I would like to talk about today is how that turned out for some of our readers. If you did not leave, how is your marriage now? Was it able to be salvaged? If you did leave, how have your children fared? How have you fared? Were you happy with your decision?
Then the other side of the coin is the fact that sometimes the cheater doesn’t give the option of trying again. Once he/she has cheated, they have already checked out and moved on. Even if the spouse is ready to forgive and try again, it doesn’t seem to be an option to the cheater.
Obviously this is a topic where our readers will more than likely want to remain anonymous. Please do not let this dissuade you from commenting. You can remain COMPLETELY anonymous by commenting below and simply leaving the space for name, email, and website blank. No one will ever be able to trace the comment back to you. (Including the TMoM team!)
So please, let’s be open and honest today in order to give other readers some help and guidance when and if they should ever need it.