by Jennifer Mearns of http://theundomesticgoddess.net/
Since having twins two years ago, I have thought about writing something to help all the future twin mamas and papas out there. I didn’t feel like I was ready or worthy. I felt like I was flying by the seat of my pants. I still do. But I have learned some things.
First, throw out all the rules you’ve learned about parenting singletons. They just don’t or can’t apply to twins or multiples. Of course, keep some, like put them on their back to sleep and no hard candy.
Feeding:
As a singleton parent you’re taught NEVER to prop a bottle. It’s dangerous! They could choke! That’s true. But sometimes, you must feed two (or more) babies at the same time and your partner is not there. How? You prop that bottle. Don’t leave them unattended. But prop that bottle. To assuage your guilt—assuming you have any—trade off which twin gets held and which twin gets propped. Feeding time is great bonding time with babies but remember—there are two babies getting fed multiple times a day. You’ll get plenty of bonding time.
Sleeping:
Scheduling will be your best friend. The first night we came home from the NICU, we tried a man-on-man defense. We were each assigned a twin. No one slept that night. NO ONE. From then on, we did a zone (time zone) defense. What worked for us, because my husband can fall asleep in 0.3 seconds and it takes me an hour, a book and medication, was to set up a schedule where he went to sleep at 9pm-10pm and I did the 9pm feeding and the 12am feeding. Then I slept from 12am-6am while he took the 3am feeding. Often, he was kind and let me sleep past 6am too.
Try to get the twins on a schedule as soon as you can. The first few weeks are a hazy crapshoot, but as soon as you can, get them on a schedule!
Transportation:
There are a lot of expensive stroller systems and car seat systems geared toward twins, but we did well with the Graco Snugride 35 Lite LX Infant car seat and the Graco Duoglider double stroller. Regardless of what brand of car seat/stroller you choose, you must have a double stroller. Another option is a utility wagon with seating built in for the twins. A lot of twin parents go that route. We didn’t, but I could see where it would work just as well. The main takeaway is containment! You must contain them in public for your own sanity–not to mention their own safety. Twin toddlers are like small tornados functioning on pure impulse and no logic. They feed off each other’s energy and bad decisions.
Containment:
Baby gates and play yards are a must with twins. We managed three singletons with only one baby gate leading into the kitchen but since the twins became ambulatory, we’ve installed two more. For a good 18 months we were able to use a play yard to keep them contained. We used those square plastic panels that pop together. We inherited one set from a friend that aged out of them and then another set from another friend who’d aged out. When they were able to climb out of the giant baby cage, my husband bought yet more panels to try and contain the whole living room with the couches inside it so they would have less incentive to try and escape. Now we have a baby gate installed at the extra-wide edge of the living room to keep them in, but we still use those panels strategically.
These tips might help you manage the chaos that is having twins. It’s wild and messy and crazy but so much fun. It’s somehow more than twice the difficulty, more than twice the chaos, but more than twice the fun. Twice the kisses. Twice the hugs. Much more than twice the love.
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Some other posts you might like on preparing for twins:
10 Tips for Raising Twins
Top Tips for Keeping your Sanity with Twins
40 Tips for Raising Twin Babies
What Moms of Multiples Want You to Know
Find Your Tribe as a Mom of Multiples
