By Guest Blogger Dara Kurtz, author of the blog Crazy Perfect Life

Dear Kids,

It’s hard to believe the school year just started and summer is over. I thought we should take this opportunity to go over a few things. Since it’s a new year, and you’ve had a busy summer, I wanted to make sure we’re all on the same page.

No need for unnecessary arguments.

It’s been a hard summer for you and I know we’re asking a lot of you. You’ve gone to over-priced camps, taken tennis and golf lessons and spent time at the beach. Not to mention sleeping late, binging on Netflix and hanging out at the pool with your friends.

I want to make sure we’re all on the same page. No need for any miscommunication or confrontation. Let’s start the year off right.

1. When you come home, please feel free to leave your book bag, gym bag and shoes in the hall or kitchen. The house will be clean by the time you get home, so messing it up again is fine. It will give me something to do tomorrow, when you’re at school. It makes the hours when you’re at school go by faster. If I can’t be with you, at least I can be with your mess.

2. Feel free to volunteer me for anything and everything. Especially before asking me if I mind. Of course I don’t mind. Making homemade treats, no problem. If they need a mom to help in the library, make phone calls or attend a field trip, I’m their girl. Sign me up for anything and everything. And, I really like helping plan school parties. Nothing says fun better than organizing the holiday party.

3. I know you aren’t going to be in the mood to do homework. After all, you just went back to school. But, that’s where I can really shine. I’m happy to help you do your homework. Especially the word problems. They’re my favorite. If you don’t feel like studying, bring it to me and I’ll spoon feed you the information. I’ve got nothing but time. I’ll even make you a practice test, but only because I love you so much. Knowing I’m smarter than an eighth and eleventh grader makes me happy.

4. Haven’t done your summer reading? No problem. I’ll read the books for you while you’re at school and then summarize them for you when you get home. This will maximize our time. I’m sure your teachers won’t mind at all. Nothing says FUN like the classics. And after that, let’s snuggle up on the couch and watch the movie of the book. We’ll be spending quality time together and you’ll be soaking up the themes of your summer reading. Talk about efficiency.

It’s been a hard summer for you and I know we’re asking a lot.

5. I’m happy to pack your lunch for you. Even if you don’t eat the lunch I pack, I don’t mind. It’s not a big deal for me to go to the store, spend money on expensive food, take the time to make your lunch and then have you not eat it. I know it can be a real bummer to open your lunch and see something you “just aren’t in the mood for.” And when you’re up for it, ask me to go to your favorite restaurant and bring you lunch from there. I serve at the pleasure of my kids.

6. I know it can be hard to decide what to wear to school. A girl always needs to look her best and I fully understand this. Feel free to toss your clothes all over your room and I’ll just go in behind you and hang everything up. I’ll put them away again, or even rewash them. I know it can be exhausting to hang up your brand new clothing. I feel your pain.

7. If you leave anything at home, don’t think twice about calling or texting me. I’ll bring you whatever you need. I don’t mind stopping what I’m doing, taking the time to go home to fetch what you’ve forgotten and driving it to you. I like to see how many times in a day I get to drive to your school. Maybe, I’ll stop by Starbucks and bring you a coffee. Just text me your order. And, ask your friends what they want also. We can all use a little pick me up during the day, and I fully understand how an eight hour school day is almost too much for you.

8. Lastly, if I’m late picking you up from school, please text me. Immediately. And, not just once. I like getting a slew of messages from you. It makes me feel special. I don’t want to keep you waiting, not even for one second. I recognize your time is very valuable. It’s not like I’m doing anything important anyway. I’m also happy to take all of your friends home or drive you anywhere you want to go. Just let me know when and where I need to be. And of course, there’s no need to ask me in advance. Nope. No need at all. In fact, your friends can stay for dinner. I’m happy to whip up something special.

It’s going to be a great year and I’m super excited to get started.

Oh, and let me know if you need more school supplies in case the hundreds of dollars we spent weren’t enough. I’ll be sure to get on it.


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