The Benefits of a Solo Date

Last Updated August 2026 by Kodia Byers | Written By Guest Blogger Bethany Godwin, LCMHC, PMH-C

Have you ever spent time alone, intentionally? I don’t mean lying on the couch after the kids have gone to bed scrolling through your phone or searching Netflix for something you know you can only watch when you’re alone. I mean planning an entire day solo, by yourself.

I discovered this many years ago after my son got through those first years where he needed me much of the time, and my husband and I had to barter with each other for who was going to be productive or on childcare duty. When he got more into the early preschool years and my husband got into his groove of taking him for outings, there was finally this opportunity, it seemed, for me to have a break. This wasn’t something that happened all the time, but when it did, it felt magical.

You don’t really think about it when you’re pregnant and anticipating this child, that your time is going to become so entirely reoriented around someone else. Often during postpartum and early parenthood, it can be so hard to connect with just us.

Planning Your Solo Date

I approached it as if I was taking myself out on a day date. Remembering my favorite things I enjoyed before parenthood, I would find a way to plan them into the schedule of the day. I would start with the beginning of the day, including my morning routine, a place I wanted to visit, an activity I wanted to do, where I’d want to eat lunch, and so on. It was a day I would be completely on my own, no one to have to compromise with or figure out schedules together. Everything was my choice. That freedom can feel exhilarating.

Everyone Benefits

Being alone with yourself the entire day also really gives you time to get to know yourself again. You aren’t distracted by other people’s dilemmas or desires. You are the only person to focus on that day.

And it’s not selfish. Taking that time for yourself often means you come back more present, more patient, and more like yourself with the people you love. A solo date isn’t a break from your family, it’s a way of taking care of the person who takes care of everyone else.

If it’s been a while since you’ve had a day that was entirely your own, consider planning one. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. It just has to be yours.

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