Are You Friends With Your OB/GYN?

Last Updated October 2026 by Kodia Byers | Originally written by Dani Luft

A fan of TMoM recently requested that we write an article on “being friends with your OB/GYN.” She stated that she is feeling awkward as she has recently developed a friendship with her doctor outside of the office due to their social circles. Our reader wanted to know if other women out there are friends with their doctor, and also if the OB/GYNs feel awkward on the flip side of things.

So we decided to poll some local OB/GYNs and ask them a few questions on this topic.

Do You Feel Uncomfortable When a Friend Is a Patient?

Dr. F: No, not at all. When I know a patient socially, it often allows me more insight into their personal situation that may help me make informed, logical decisions about their healthcare.

Dr. M: No, I love taking care of friends. I get to help them when they need it or be a part of them having babies, or get to see them just for their yearly exams. It’s great!

Dr. S: Not usually. This is a small enough community that it would be impossible to avoid friends entirely, and sometimes people become friends after they are already my patient.

Is It Awkward for You to See That Friend in Public?

Dr. F: Nope. I’m a gynecologist. Not a lot embarrasses me.

Dr. M: No. It doesn’t even cross my mind. Work stays at work.

Dr. S: No, although it may be awkward for them. Most doctors are able to compartmentalize pretty well, which is a great coping mechanism for difficult situations when we still need to have our clinical decision making ability intact. This also means that often when I see a friend in public I don’t really remember what we talked about at her last visit, even though she assumes I do!

Can a Friendship Coexist With Honest, Open Appointments?

Dr. F: I would certainly hope so! Women tell their girlfriends some of their biggest fears! I am honored that I can help alleviate those fears as they relate to health, sexuality, etc.

Dr. M: Absolutely! A lot of people feel better talking to someone they have a good relationship with.

Dr. S: I do. As a female OB/GYN this is almost just an extension of a female-female friendship. Men might have a more difficult time with this, although this is probably felt more on the patient’s side than on the physician’s. Some of us can be very different people when wearing our white coats, and we all try pretty hard to separate work from personal time.

Is It Awkward Asking Personal Questions as a Friend?

Dr. F: While some of my patients probably wish I found these questions awkward, all of my patients know I have no qualms with being blunt. If I think a question will help me help a patient, I will ask it, no matter how blunt, awkward, or personal it may be.

Dr. M: It’s not awkward. As their doctor, we talk about what we need to, but when we’re out as friends, it’s totally different.

Dr. S: Again, I (and most of my colleagues) am able to separate the friendship from the clinical relationship. I did have a patient who became one of my best friends. She ended up moving and got a new OB/GYN, and I admit I was a bit relieved. For most friends, though, this is not an issue.

Do You Resent Friends Who See a Different OB/GYN?

Dr. F: Heck no! I want my friends to get the best medical care they can in a setting that makes them the most comfortable. If they are more comfortable not seeing a friend, then that is their choice, and as their friend, I support that whole heartedly.

Dr. M: I want everything to be comfortable whether it’s with me or not.

Dr. S: No, because I understand that it could make them uncomfortable to see me in this way, but it is usually their comfort that drives this, not mine.

Do Casual Medical Questions From Friends Bother You?

Dr. F: To be honest, I am a physician married to a physician who is the son of a physician. “Casual conversation” in our family often turns medical. I don’t even notice “medical advice” questions. That is just part and parcel of normal conversation. If I can help a friend by answering a question, I feel like I’m actually doing something good. So no, I am far from annoyed.

Dr. M: No, of course not. I want to help them when I can.

Dr. S: No, although my husband rolls his eyes and moves away! I try to keep these conversations general to avoid privacy issues, and I definitely try to keep it short and get back to having fun!

So what do you think? If you’re friends with your doctor, does this help put you a little more at ease about it?

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