As a mom to one pre-teen and one teenager, I often catch myself thinking: “How many summers do I have left before they’re off to college?” That thought stings a little—but it also lights a fire in me to make each summer count. These years feel fleeting, and I want to soak up as much family time as possible.

But here’s the thing—teens have lives of their own now. As kids grow, they naturally crave more time with friends and more freedom to explore their own interests. Add in social media, video games, YouTube, and part-time jobs or volunteering, and family time can start to take a backseat.

So how do we stay connected with teens during summer, while still giving them space to grow? Here are five ways to nurture connection—even when your teen would rather be doing just about anything else.

Ways to Stay Connected with Your Teen

1. Understand Your Teen’s Need for Independence

One of the best things you can do as a parent of teens is remind yourself that pulling away is a natural part of adolescence. Teens are wired to start seeking independence—it’s a critical part of their journey into adulthood. That doesn’t mean they don’t love or need us anymore. It just means their world is expanding beyond the family unit.

Think back to your own teenage years. Did you always want to hang out with your parents on summer weekends? Probably not. The key is to not take it personally. Recognizing this shift as healthy (and expected!) can help you parent from a place of understanding instead of frustration.

2. Let Mistakes Be Opportunities for Growth

As teens take on more independence, they’re going to mess up—it’s part of learning. They might make poor choices, test boundaries, or disagree with your values. As hard as it is, try to view these moments as teachable opportunities, not failures.

The more your teen knows they can talk to you about both their wins and their missteps, the stronger your relationship will be. If you keep the lines of communication open, they’re more likely to come to you when it really matters. For tips on how to build that trust, check out our previous TMoM post on talking openly with your teen.

3. Show Interest in What They Love

Sure, you’d rather read a book than learn about Fortnite. But one of the easiest ways to connect with your teen is to show genuine interest in their interests—even if you don’t understand them. Whether it’s video games, anime, fashion, or a new favorite band, these things are important in your teen’s world.

Ask simple questions like, “What do you love most about this game?” or “What’s the coolest thing about that show?” These moments show your teen that you’re listening, and that you care about their passions—not just your own priorities.

4. Plan Family Activities—Even If They Grumble

Teens may roll their eyes, but family experiences still matter—sometimes more than we realize. Recently, we took a family bike trip on the Virginia Creeper Trail. Even though the boys loved it two years ago, this time they moaned and groaned leading up to it. But guess what? Once we were out there, they had a blast. One even admitted, “You were right, Mom. This is fun.”

Don’t be discouraged by the initial pushback. Teens still need time with family, even if they don’t ask for it. Create summer activities for teens that feel low-pressure but meaningful—day trips, cooking together, backyard games, or movie nights. The memories will stick, even if the smiles come later.

5. Know When to Get Professional Support

Sometimes disconnecting is more than just a phase. If your teen starts pulling away from everything they used to enjoy—family, friends, hobbies—it might be time to check in on their mental health. Anxiety, depression, and other issues often surface during the teen years.

If something feels off, don’t hesitate to contact a counselor or therapist. In the Triad, we’re lucky to have many local professionals who specialize in teen mental health. If you’re unsure when to seek help, visit our past blog post on signs your teen might need professional support.

Creating Summer Moments That Matter

It’s easy to miss the days when your child was excited for every family outing. But parenting teens is about learning to build new kinds of connections—ones that respect their independence while still reminding them that family is a constant.

This summer, try to meet your teen where they are, make space for shared experiences, and stay open to growing with them. You may not get every moment, but the ones you do get will be worth it.

By Guest Blogger, Christine Murray, Ph.D., LCMHC, LMFT

Christine Murray, Ph.D., LCMHC, LMFT, is the Director of the UNCG Center for Youth, Family, and Community Partnerships, where she also oversees the Healthy Relationships Initiative. The Healthy Relationships Initiative (HRI) team is excited to partner with Triad Moms on Main on this blog series. In this series, we offer general guidance to relationship or family questions submitted by TMoM community members. If you’ve got a question to ask, please share it anonymously here.

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