By Guest Blogger Ginny Olson, author of the blog MothersRest.com
A few days ago, my oldest asked, “Is there really only one Santa?”
I cheerily called out, “NOPE!”
My son gave me the worse look ever, channeling: WRONG ANSWER!
Little brother walked into the room in time to hear me chirp, “Well, you see, Santa has LOTS of helpers! He has to be so many places at once that lots of Santas help him. And it never really matters if you’re talking to the REAL SANTA. Because his helpers all tell him what you said.”
They looked at me skeptically but carried on with their day. My conscience muttered something about the problem with telling children lies.
But it’s Christmas! This is for a good cause: MAGIC!
I didn’t disown my parents when my cousin spilled the beans. I have fond memories of magic. Like when my dad wrote me a letter FROM SANTA using letters that he cut out from the newspaper to disguise his handwriting. That’s dedication and love. His Santa game was strong.
The Rudolph Debacle
My youngest LOVES Rudolph. So, I should have been prepared when he asked, “Why don’t all reindeer have red noses?”
“Son,” I replied absentmindedly, “NO reindeer have red noses.”
He gasped. “But RUDOLPH! Has a RED NOSE! He guides SANTA’S SLEIGH with it!”
How am I going to get out of this?
My ninja mom-brain went into warp speed: “Great point! Rudolph is MAGIC! Regular reindeer have brown noses. Remember the ones we saw in Frozen 2? All brown noses. But Rudolph is magic, and Santa is magic! So, you’re right, Rudolph does have a red nose.”
He seemed satisfied. Praise the Lord for Disney.
The Santa List
We went to see Mall Santa.
You know the gig where you wait in line for 7 hours and pay $100 for that awkward-family-photo? We were strategic and visited Santa BEFORE Thanksgiving. Which meant NO LINE! Also, I refused to shell out money so my boys talked to Santa for an hour while the picture lady patted her foot and tried to figure out if I was just cheap or actually deserved pity and free candy canes because we’re homeless.
When we left, the boys walked away with a Pinteresty-print out where they could list all their Christmasy desires. But no candy canes.
My oldest wrote:
- Tablet.
- Hamster.
- Puppy.
He was excited to share his list with me. I complimented him on his handwriting. That didn’t satisfy him. He wanted to engage in a conversation about these items. He wanted acknowledgement. And approval.
I nodded “hm” about the tablet. Maybe he’s old enough for one with some sort of contract where he agrees to play outside for 6 hours to use it for 20 minutes. I laughed about the hamster. Then I got down to business.
Me: “We’re not getting a puppy.”
Him: “But I told Santa to bring it.”
Me: “Santa isn’t bringing you a puppy.”
Him: “But Santa gives you what you ask for.”
Me, to myself: Dear Santa, can you pay off my student loans?
Me, to him, ignoring half of what he said: “I talk to Santa, and he knows we aren’t ready for another dog. Especially not a puppy. Why do you think?”
Him, disappointed but turning into a good sport: “Because puppies eat things?”
Me: “Yep, they’d probably eat the hamster.”
Luckily, this made him laugh.
Lies Upon Lies
I’m winning Mother-of-the-Year this Holiday season. So far, I’ve contradicted 3 lies about the jolly ole elf that I told them last year. Let’s review, shall we?
- Santa isn’t magic enough to be all places at once. There are FAKE Santas on the loose.
- Rudolph isn’t real. Real animals don’t have red noses. Unless they are albinos.
- Santa doesn’t give you everything your little heart desires. That makes him kinda lame?
But I was about to score a touchdown. Because: enter the Saturday my parents took the boys on a daylong Christmas adventure.
It began in the morning with Cookies and Crafts with Santa. An hour later, they were dancing along with half the town at the Christmas parade featuring Santa!
When they arrived home, the youngest huddled up to me and whispered, “Mommy, you were RIGHT! Santa DOES have HELPERS! Because the Cookies Santa was DIFFERENT from the Parade Santa! But don’t worry, I know who the real one was. The Cookies one! Because he was FAT!”
Don’t be surprised if you find my children eyeing Santa’s girth the next time you see them. At least there’s one lie I haven’t busted. The bigger the Santa, the better the Santa. And magic is restored to the universe.
Ginny Olson is the author of the blog MothersRest.com, a love letter to moms, both new and seasoned, journeying from sleep deprived to joy-arrived. When not riding-herd over two small male children, Ginny runs the career strategy firm, Brand Elements Coaching, where she helps professionals navigate the job market and successfully undertake career pivots. She also teaches Marketing for Nonprofits at the local university.
Ginny’s writing has appeared in GLAMOUR magazine, the Greensboro News & Record, Piedmont Parent, and Triad Moms on Main, as well as several mom blogs. You can follow MothersRest on Facebook.
