Mommying Like a Xennial Ain’t Easy

By Guest Blogger Nicole Ducouer

This is my first post for Triad Moms on Main, and I’m looking forward to sharing some of my thoughts as I’ve made my transition from news anchor at WXII to head of corporate communication for a local nonprofit, IFB Solutions, which is the largest employer of people who are blind in the country. It’s been a major life change for me and also given me some time to reflect on life, family and career.

I recently had a very interesting conversation with my mother that 15 years ago I never even imagined I would ever have. The conversation centered around why I struggle with balance. Life, work, mom, wife. All of it.

Our conversation morphed into something interesting—Why is our generation of women so vocal about how hard it is to be a mom, a wife and a career woman? We have created lucrative momblogs, vlogs, product lines and more all based on taking our stresses and shouting them to the world! Why is mommy so hard? Why?!

Let’s go back to the beginning. Maybe you saw the word “Xennial” in this title and asked yourself what language I was speaking. Well, according to the trusted source we call the internet the numbers vary, but the definition is for the most part the same: A Xennial is a person born in the late 70’s to early 80’s. It’s that little 4- or 5-year window. We’re known as the “Oregon Trail Generation” or the first of the Millennials. You know who we are—that group that knows if you have dysentery or a wagon wheel falls off your life isn’t literally over. You just need to reboot.

We remember typewriters and White Out pens but use Ipads and laptops. We hit play-record on our boomboxes, but use wireless earbuds connected to a database of music on our phones. Speaking of phones, remember when you had to turn a magic wheel of numbers to call your friend?  Isn’t it nice I can demand some woman living in my phone do the dialing for me? Yup, that’s a Xennial.

We have absorbed the work ethics of our parents, yet we’ve adapted to a generation known for working less and a high-tech way of life. We are the ones who watched our moms stay home, raise the family, cook the meals and do the laundry because it was what their moms did. Being a stay-at-home mom is a 24/7 job that never gets easy.

Here is where I find this generation to be the middle child of it all; I am a 37-year-old career woman, wife and mom who is constantly trying to find balance. Why can’t I find it? Because my lessons in motherhood came from an incredibility dedicated woman who showed me what a perfectly clean house looks like, a nutritional dinner tastes like and what endless trips to the library, birthday parties, field trips and playdates feel like. The complicated part comes in fitting that MBA education (Mom Balancing Act) with a Xennial’s reality.

Xennial moms want to have the clean home, perfect meals and a plethora of playdates because that’s what we know. What we don’t know how to do is to take what we grew up with and mesh it with today’s generation of working moms, Pinterest perfection and jaunty social media pictures and find balance.

I want to use my blog to share some things I learned from my incredible mother that have seriously helped me.  We’ll start with two of my favorites:

• Do one thing at a time.

Is this anyone else’s brain? “I’m going to put clothes away. Gosh, his room is messy I’ll clean it. Why are these shoes in here? I’ll take them outside. Man, this porch is dirty I should pressure wash it. Oh, that reminds me, I need to make a hair appointment. I wonder what Kathryn is doing I should call her… right after I put clothes away.” Something a good friend told me once NEVER leaves my brain. She said, “If you are a 100% person, and you give 60% to everything, you will never feel satisfied.” Stop and give a small project 100% of your attention and check it off the list!

• Do something that allows you to temporarily escape.

Notice I didn’t say something that makes you happy. Drinking mimosas with Ryan Reynolds would make me happy. Winning the lottery would make me happy. Sometimes we just need a moment to escape. Reading is something I can do in my home that allows my brain to just BE. Or, maybe your escape is the gym and exercise. IFB Solutions is hosting a 2.5-mile race in Lewisville right before the December Holiday Parade so I’m using some of my “me” time to get out and exercise. Find something that allows your mind to just chill and decompress.

Other lessons I’ll address in future posts include Finding the Positivity in Social Media and Making a Change in Your Life when It’s Not Making You Happy.

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