A Breath of Fresh Divorce
By Guest Blogger Heather K.
With my separation papers signed and recorded and my move to a new place complete, I am now able to sit back and enjoy all of the things that come with going through a divorce-for-the-right-reasons.
1. I have never been a big house person, so saying goodbye to 2700 square feet and hello to 940 square feet has never felt so good. Yes, my kids are all in the same room, and no this is not a permanent living situation, however; I could not be happier to not have unused rooms and furniture. This is a place to live in and make our own, not a place for show, and that makes me very proud.
2. Everything is mine! I have all of the things that I love the most all around me. There is no one to tell me that I live in clutter and buy useless things. Those four ziploc bags full of hilarious magnets that have been packed away for years are out and on full display! Sure, this may seem like a small thing, but you have no clue how much I love magnets.
3. I have a new found respect for my first born. She is really the only one who grasps what is truly going on, my other two get it, but it will be the norm for them as they are both still young. My oldest took the news of the divorce better than most adults do. She has stepped up to the plate and is eager to help her little sisters (and her mom) when help is needed. Yes, she is still a child, and I am not expecting her to be anything else, but seeing her take a leadership role during this time is very comforting.
4. No more lying about my marriage. This may be my favorite thing. I no longer have to put on a happy face at the school holiday party and act like I have a great life with my husband. I can be true to myself and let people think what they would like to think. No more skeletons in the closet, so to speak. The truth is out there and that makes me feel better than anything.
5. Last but not least, I get time to myself. My girls see their dad every other weekend and when he can during the week, which means I have time to hit the beach solo, grab a glass with a friend, or hit the road for the weekend and know that my kids are with someone who loves them as much as I do and they are well taken care of.
Before you hit the comment section to tear me apart about how I have no idea what the sanctity of marriage means or that I am a selfish person for making a “pro-divorce” list, I get it. Divorce sucks, for the most part, and for most people. It is not a decision that should be taken lightly. Of course I thought of my kids, that is the main reason that it took me such a lengthy amount of time to finally get my ass in gear and leave. All that being said, for me, divorce is a breath of fresh air. I feel like I have been given a new life, and it is one that I very much enjoy. I hope that if you feel the same as I do you are able to let yourself enjoy it. There is enough heartache in the world, take the happy where you can, even if people look at you a little funny.
Haters gonna hate.
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What a great article. I have been married for 15 years, so while I wanted the divorce, there have definitely been some adjustments. The best thing for me is the me time. When I was married I never seem to get any of that!
Being able to be the best, most authentic you is an amazing gift to your kids and is a right that should never have been denied. Kudos to you for helping them learn that message early on and having the strength to do it for yourself too!
As someone who’s been exactly where you are, I totally understand and agree with your list. People who haven’t been through divorce probably won’t get it. I think it’s a great thing to look at the positive things, in any situation! It’s not what I ever wanted for me or my children but it has brought some good things to our lives. Thanks for writing this article!!
Way to go and well written! so, my divorce was not what I wanted, however now that I see what I was tolerating . . . . . I am SO much happier! There are still days that I think ” well, this is not really how I saw my life going” but when I have dirty dished in the sink and happy times with my kids . . . . I know it is a much better life living HAPPY!
Way to go!