The Greatest Reward of Being a Single Parent
By Guest Blogger Suzy Fielders
A few years ago, I wrote this blog for TMoM to share some insight into what life is like as a single parent. I shared the trials I’ve endured and provided some tips I picked up along the journey. My daughter Sarah is now 10, and while being a single parent still has those same struggles, I wanted to share the flip side and a very positive reward that being a single parent brings.
In the media, single parents often get a lot of judgement and are typically misportrayed and misunderstood. Years after its original launch, I finally watched the Gilmore Girls series thanks to binge watching on Netflix. I’ve never watched a show that I could so completely relate to as I did this one. Granted there were many differences but overall the single parent lifestyle was very adequately portrayed in this show. It was also quite amusing to see how sarcastic and random the ‘mom’ in the show was because well that part is quite similar to my own personality!
While I have had people point out the unique bond Sarah and I have, I never really thought too much about it until I watched this series. Seeing that bond between a single parent and their child acted out really helped put my own into perspective.
For single parents, it’s just you and your kid against the world basically. You truly depend solely on each other to get through the hard times and enjoy the good times. I know at least for me, since I have to deal with so much as a single parent, I rely more on my child to step up and do her part, even at a young age. This relying on her more, and in turn, treating her more responsibly (again even when she was young) helped build a bond early on that’s more than just parent/child but a solid friendship.
Just like in the show, my daughter and I talk about everything. We tend to know what the other is thinking and have tons of inside jokes. Granted there are of course those times when she misbehaves and I still have to ‘lay down the law,’ but even then she’ll tell me (or anyone who asks!) that I’m her best friend. I have had many people over the years (and even now) tell me “Oh that’ll change when she’s a teenager and wants nothing to do with you,” but I can say without question I have no doubt this bond won’t change. There will, of course, be many trying times in the upcoming teenage years, but knowing this unique bond we already share I don’t foresee it being so easily shaken.
So to all the other single parents out there… on those numerous hard days when you feel like you are drowning, just remember the positives, such as you have an opportunity to build such a unique bond with your child.
If you are a single parent and can share your thoughts, please chime in. We’d love to hear about your greatest rewards too!
*Top photo credit: Inspired Memorys Photography
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Beautifully Blessed we are to be single parents. I often tell my seven year old that I loved everyone with a Godly love, so he Blessed me with someone that would love me back, unconditionally, the way that God loves. I am sooo happy, proud and privileged to call her my daughter. And the bond we share is unequivocally, inseparable. Thank you for your honesty and your assistance with acceptance. As parents we should help to build each other for the sake of the children.
Thank you again and may God continue to Bless you and your beautiful reflection.
I know this is an older Post, but I’ve just gotten a chance to read it. I started as a divorced single parent then remarried, and the twins step father helped me raise the girls until he passed away suddenly when they were 14. Even though their biological father was an active part of their life and we were screaming and hollering divorced couple we just wanted what was best for the girls but didn’t always agree on what that was. Bob their stepdad helped raise them since they were 3 1/2 years old so for them he was daddy.
We have had many very difficult times but by the grace of God and all of us holding together as a family we managed to get through them. Now the girls have just turned 18 and are moving on to College and young adult hood. One is moving away to college and the other staying in town to start off at Forsyth Tech.
I also went from being a working BSN RN, to developing multiple sclerosis the year after the girls were born and becoming disabled and no longer able to work. Soon after their father and I divorced. But I have been very blessed to have found a man that was able to handle my chronic illness along with twin toddlers. And I know if I had not become disabled and become a stay-at-home mom I would not be as close to my girls as I am since I would’ve been working 12 hour shift’s. We made it through the good and the bad and now it’s time for them to spread their wings and fly. I wouldn’t wish the difficulties on anyone, but I wouldn’t trade my life and the closeness I have with the girls for anything. thanks for an article that tells it like it is.
Back when I blogged, I wrote a similar article about the blessings of being a single mom to my three. It is the hardest job I’ll ever love and wouldn’t trade the special bonds with my kids for anything.
Thanks so much Heather! Yes we are 🙂
Absolutely beautiful. You both are very blessed to have each other.