Navigating Parenthood and Uncovering Our Most Authentic Selves

Written by Suzie Blackman, Founder+Instructor Synergy Winston-Salem, RYT 200, ACE CPT, Certified Holistic Health Coach (CHHC).

Nothing reminds me more how much of a miracle in motion we are than watching this once tiny mustard seed that grew within me, transform and blossom into a full fledged person (toddler). Baring witness to this incredible growth (and the pace of it!), aside, the hardships of parenthood- of which there are many, I think we can all agree, beckons us each to continue, or reclaim- and continually revamp- practices, and our level of discipline around them- to re-arrive at a sense of felt peace, joy and abundance as we all navigate parenthood, and motherhood in particular.

If you are anything like me, you may identify with the idea that we continually die a million little deaths only to be reborn again, more ourselves, everyday- or nearly everyday, as mothers. We are placed in this unique position when we become moms to connect more deeply with the process of, and the unfolding of life, and if you are anything like me- the suffering you may experience along the way often has to do with your resistance to rather than ability to flow with these opportunities for awakening over and over again.

Enter some basic (but shockingly challenging, hard to commit to/ fit in/prioritize), practices of nourishment that help me ground, recall abundance- of energy, time, patience, joy…and inner peace:

1. Working out. Moving my body daily. It does not always have to be intense- but a good dose of endorphins, I find, first thing in the morning in particular, can really do wonders for wiping the slate clean, helping me re-up my pantry of peace and patience. Whether or not you can fit it in early morning really doesn’t matter though- do what you can, with the time that you have.
2. Meditation/ mindfulness practice- I find this concerted time in stillness to be with my thoughts, or in the case of yoga, move mindfully through my body which harnesses the energy of them- is essential. The world is noisy. This time gives us a chance to pay attention to what feeds our energy, the same way we want our toddlers to have a chance to exert and come to know their own. To connect with the changing nature of our mind and body is a gift- what a bore a static life would be. But the paradox is that we need to find some way to break from the constant nature of doing that parenthood thrusts us into, and the noise- so we can reconnect with the opportunities that lay within the juggling act…
3. Eat Breakfast. Eat Lunch. Eat Snack. Eat Dinner. Eat Dessert. Make homemade food as often as possible. Drink Water- hydration! Sleep as much as possible (when the baby sleeps, right?!). We could get into what kinds of things to eat- one pot and sheet pan meals -cooking once, eating twice- the restorative power of sleep and how challenging it is to come by- this is important, but thats for another post on a different date. For now, let this be a reminder that your children have demands for their own nourishment, and that cannot and should not diminish the demands of your own body, mind and spirit, to honor yours. You are the vessel for it all. Our kids are watching us, and so in this way, we have accountability-buddies right within home, regardless of any communities we may be a part of.
4. Time with loved ones- dates with your partner, dates with your friends, time with your family (not baring the fact that family relations can and often are a source of stress, particularly as we further uncover the nuances of them upon becoming parents). Time is the one resource we cannot get back. Make time for the people you love. If you cannot show up as your Authentic Self to those relationships, it might be time to let them go…energy on all cylinders-  mental, emotional, physical and spiritual, is our second greatest resource.
5. Remember how we tell our kids “You Are What You Think. What You Think, You Become!” Same goes for us. We need to commit to returning to this mantra, and doing the things we need to do that support our desire to continue becoming. We are growing and changing right alongside our kids.

Becoming a mother has been a complete and total trip for me. The most fulfilling trip I am taking in life, and also the hardest to navigate at certain points. But then also, serenely simple and blissfully easy at others.

Within the challenge, I am reminded by connecting with these seemingly basic tenets of ‘self care’ that Joy and Peace may still always be located, and abundantly so, right within.

We just have to be ready to surrender enough so that we can re-land back at the root from which the seed came.