It Took Two Years But I Finally Feel Like a New Mom
By Lauren Falber
It was just two years ago when I became a new mom. I remember how nervous I was to be responsible for another living being. I remember hearing all of the horror stories about no sleep, no showers and no peace of mind. I prepared myself and jumped right in.
I already think my son, Jaxsyn, is an amazing kid, but this whole parenting thing was nothing. He had two cries: Number One, “I’m hungry,” and Number Two, “I used the bathroom.”
What was everyone talking about? I could do this with my eyes closed! He started sleeping through the night at four months and regularly took naps. I wasn’t tired at all. I saw my friends with their new babies and quickly realized that I had it pretty easy and I made sure to thank God each night for such a lovely transition into motherhood.
I had it in the bag. If raising a child was going to be like this, then give me more. When asked by anyone else if I wanted another one I quickly shouted, “Heck yes, this is awesome!” I even had one mom ask me where my black circles were underneath my eyes. When I told her how amazing my child was I was certain she wanted to strangle me. I learned to keep it to myself. I didn’t want to make enemies.
And then it all changed. Not that Jaxsyn isn’t still amazing and I do thank God every night, still, for giving me this precious gift … but it changed.
I’ll never forget the first moment I realized the change. Jaxsyn and I were sitting on the couch watching cartoons when a truck came flying towards my face. I ducked and then looked up because surely it had fallen from the sky and my sweet, innocent bundle of boy hadn’t thrown it at me. When I made eye contact with Jaxsyn he looked upset that he hadn’t made contact with my face and then he hit me.
“Nuh-uh,” he said.
What the? Did my almost two-year-old tell me no? Did he just tell me no that he wasn’t going to apologize? I had to be hearing things and so I said, “Tell me you’re sorry.” I could tell he knew that momma meant business.
“No,” he said with an eerie calm about himself.
I quickly blamed his stubbornness on his father and repeated myself one last time.
“No,” he insisted.
I scooped him up and told him that if he wasn’t going to say sorry that he was going to have to spend two minutes in time out. As we walked to his room he handed me a new one, screaming, “I DON’T CARE, I DON’T CARE!” Still to this day, I have no idea where he’s learned this because my husband and I don’t go around the house yelling, “I DON’T CARE”.
I wish I could say that that was a one-time experience, but I’d be lying. In fact, it’s gotten worse. The attitude that he has developed in such a short time is impressive. Unfortunately, it shows no signs of stopping and time-out is our new, most visited friend these days.
Now I am sleepy, constantly battling bed time and nap time. I am always fighting over eating more than just “nuggies.” And by the fifth time he got into my brand new makeup, I’ve given up and just let my black circles show.
Can you relate? Please share your stories!
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