New Moms: Go Easy on Yourselves

By Rachel Hoeing

You have just found out you are pregnant. You are ecstatic. You have been waiting for this day for a long time and it is finally here – you are going to be a mommy!

You are going to be THE BEST mommy ever. You’ve got it all planned out:
– You’ve purchased every pregnancy book and baby book you can get your hands on
– You are going to eat all organic foods, no sugars while you are pregnant
– You are going to play classical music for your baby while he/she is in the womb
– You will exercise daily and keep the weight gain to a minimum
– The nursery will be decorated to fit a prince or princess
– You will research all baby gear and accessories to find the best and the safest ones
– You will deliver the baby naturally
– You will breastfeed until your child begins preschool
– You will feed your baby homemade food
– Naptimes will work out perfectly at 10am and 2pm. Bedtime at 7pm will also work well.

Your family of three is going to be just perfect! But then …

You are violently throwing up every morning of your pregnancy. Nothing tastes good or stays down. Carbs, ice cream and pickles are the only foods you want.
You are HUGE and you have no desire to ever exercise again, much less walk up and down the aisles of the baby store to find out which products are best. You end up taking hand-me-downs from friends.
Oops, the doctor saw a penis on the ultrasound during month seven. The nursery theme you already had decorated for your little girl is now not at all what you want for a son.
That cute maternity dress is in a ball on the floor because you only like your stretchy pants and T-shirt at this stage of the game.
Twins? What?
You go into labor and the doctor tells you a C-section is necessary.
Breastfeeding is not going as smoothly as you had hoped.
Your baby has colic.
Finances are down the drain, you need to return to work which now messes up naptimes, breastfeeding and more.

But guess what? It is all OK.

Then guess what? Nothing else matters. Love that baby and count your blessings every single day.

We never know what type of baby we may have, what their special needs may be, or what life has in store for us or them. Sometimes we learn the hard way that the more we try to plan, the more we realize we are not in control.

What can help when you are at wits’ end with motherhood? Surround yourself with other moms who bring you joy, share in your troubles, lend helping hands, and are non-judgmental. Ask for help when you need it. Know that tomorrow is another day. Something that always helps me is the serenity prayer:

It is a quick reminder for me that some things are out of my control. It also helps me to put things back in perspective. Think about your problem at the moment and ask yourself …

Most of all, go easy on yourself. Motherhood is difficult because although there may be books & helpful guides, no child is the same, no parent is the same, and no situation is the same. Motherhood is all about trial and error, and you ARE going to be the best mom you can be just by showing your child LOVE.

*Photo credit – Inspired Memorys Photography

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