Thank You – No Note?
By Guest Blogger Heather Miller
My grandmother had a huge part in my upbringing. She was 50 years my senior and I spent more time with her than I did with any other member of my family. I chose to hang out at her house and run errands with her well into my teens while my friends were out doing less geriatric things. She was my best friend, and because of that I picked up a lot of old people habits along the way. I read Reader’s Digest, watched Hee-Haw, ate dinner at 4:30pm, and wrote Thank You notes. Lots and lots of Thank You notes. Regardless of whether someone gifted me a pencil or a new laptop, there was to be a Thank You note in the mail the next day, otherwise I was deemed ungrateful, and that was not happening, not on my grandma’s watch.
I have always instilled this particular “old person” trait onto my daughters as well. Be it a birthday gift or a random act of giving, if they receive a gift, they are to acknowledge it with a quick note, or drawing, to show that they are grateful that the gift giver took the time out of their day to think of them and get them something. My nine year old does not even need to be reminded to do this now. She receives something, breaks out all 258 of her neon, sparkly, gel pens and goes to work. It is something that, as a mom, I take pride in. I am not raising ingrates, my grandmother would be so proud! That being said, it has lately crossed my mind, is the appreciation of the Thank You note dead and gone? I mean, can we not just shoot a text or Facebook message to show our gratitude? Hell, I’m sure there is even a cool meme that could be shared at this point.
After giving it some thought, I have decided that no, the Thank You note is not dead. Not for our family, anyway. While it could definitely be replaced with a number of other ways to communicate gratitude these days, it still holds a place in my heart. For me, every time I see my girls taking the time out of their day to stop and properly thank someone for thinking of them, it makes me so proud and reminds me that my grandmother instilled something very important in me. It feels good to let people know that you really do appreciate what they have done for you, be it a big or small gesture. And who doesn’t love to get snail mail?!
So, what do you guys think? Do you have your kids write Thank You notes or do you go another route to make sure that they express their gratefulness? At the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter which option you take to make sure that the people who go out of their way for you are acknowledged, just so long as they are. What are some of the other ways that you let people know?
Thank YOU for taking the time to read this!
Love the posts on here, especially this one. Totally agree with the author. Thanks so much for making this point and for sharing your story.
I always make sure to be stocked with thank you cards. I sometimes even stash them in my purse. So many reasons to give out. I write thank u notes for wedding, baby shower, Bday n housewarming gifts. Also for service, like church people dropping food off when I had a baby. Gratitude is a biggie for me. I teach my children to be very grateful. I gave thank you notes or gifts to people who wrote reference letters, allowed me to shadow them, interviewed me, etc. These young folks don’t know how to do that. I got on my cousin about writing thank u notes to all the ppl who helped her get into PA school.
Thank you notes weren’t something ingrained in us during my youth, and they are something I strive to do when I receive a gift or card from someone. The habit comes to me with difficulty, but has such an impact on the recipient, it’s well worth the effort!
In addition, it’s a practice I try to use in my business when a client makes a purchase from me, no matter the amount. Even a hand-written thank you on a post card goes a long way to set my business apart from others.
Thanks for the perspective in your article!
I was just discussing this topic with my husband. Our children have birthdays back to back and I always do thank you notes with a treat bag for all the guests. He asked “Why are you thanking people for coming to YOUR party?” This started a conversation about how people today just don’t do thank you cards anymore. We also recently welcomed a new baby and I sent thank you cards to each and every gift giver, meal preparer, and well wisher. What is wrong with people today that we think a txt msg is the equivalent?! I am with you, I was raised that a thank you note is a must and the respectful thing to do to show gratitude. I recently went to a wedding and didn’t receive a thank you. That seemed especially taboo. A generalized “thank you everyone…” on your wedding website is too generic. The other thing that seems dead is RSVP’ing. As I mentioned I have three little ones with back to back bdays (not to mention my husbands and my own). So from Jan to July I am always planning a birthday. I always do handmade invites for the kids with whatever they are into at the time and ask that friends rsvp (really just for food head count). People rarely rsvp to say yes cant wait to be there or sorry we can’t make it. It’s super frustrating! Ok rant done lol
Agree. I plan a lot of parties. One of my pet peeves is when people don’t RSVP. It only takes seconds to do. It’s rude, ungrateful, disrespectful and inconsiderate to not RSVP.