The Lunch Report

By Scott Rigdon, author of the blog “Three Five Zero”

Elementary School lunch.  How old am I if I had fun at school today???

I wanted to post this to my blog, so I’ll change the names to protect the guilty, but we started off with ‘Dave’, aka the ‘Floor Sandwich Kid’ from a previous luncheon adventure.  That kid is serious about food!

I was having trouble understanding how Big Bird fit into a song that Ezra and Dave were singing, so I asked if we could put Barney in there instead, and possibly change him to yellow, because I’ve never been a fan of that purple color he wears.  Dave had a better idea.  He felt that Barney would fit the song better if he changed not only his color, but his side of The Force.

Then, while still wearing his yogurt mustache and between dips of his Nutter Butter into his milk, Dave did his impersonation of ‘Barney Vader’ luring the Pre-K kids over:  “Children… -whooshing noise like Darth Vader voice-  come to the Dark Side of the Pre-K room!!!”

Which then somehow led to a discussion about breakfast cereal (of course) and Dave said his favorite is Cinnamon Toast Crunch, because, and I quote, “It’s good, but the best part is when the cereal is all gone, and you have that beach of cinnamon sand left at the bottom of the bag, and you can dump it in your milk and mix it up!”  That kid can paint a cheery picture of any kind of food, on the floor or otherwise!

Whew.  Enough boy stuff.  Time for my little lady to join us!  She had a ketchup sammich with a little bit of ham and cheese mixed in it.  She mostly ate the ketchup-y parts and as hungry as I was, I didn’t even attempt to salvage the ham she didn’t eat.  There is a point of ketchup super saturation that even *I* probably can’t survive.  Had to let that one go.  For safety reasons.

Sophie-  “And that’s Mary’s little sister, doesn’t she look just like Mary?”

Me-  “Yep sure does.  Is she as Sassy as Mary?”  (Mary and I go waaaaay back to gymnastics class from years ago, where we sat and gossiped while waiting for siblings to finish their class, so we totally respect each other’s Sass!)

Sophie-  “Even Sassier than Mary!!!”

Me-  “Is that possible???”

Sophie-  “TOTALLY!”

Deeply concerned about this influx of Sass at Mary’s house, I contacted her Mom immediately and she did confirm it.  Both girls:  Very Sassy.  Oh dear.

Then I got a long story about a love note, which I can’t disclose at this time, because I’m pinky-sworn to girly-secrecy, and we all know the seriousness of that, but rest assured it was soooo cute that I got misty!  Also, we learned later that Andy had in fact swiped the love note that *I* left in Sophie’s desk, and was teasing her about it, and that kid is in hot water tomorrow!!!  Don’t mess with Daddy’s love notes!

And then I had to go home.